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Englebars Fishtibuns
The Runaways -
Joan Jett/Cherie Curie biopic about the first all girl punk band to make it big and like most bands in the 70's, succumb to drugs and disband.
9 out of 10 - As making and breaking of the band stories go, this one's not all that different but it's done well and acted incredibly. This was a nice breakaway performance for KStew and Dakota to get a feel for their chops and show they've finally grown up, and it worked out brilliantly, they really embodied the real people and did their best to make everything completely authentic, they even sang their own songs and learned guitar. The only thing to be desired was just a tiny bit more character and relationship depth. So if you like rock star bios or just want to see if these girls can pull this off, watch this film, because it wont dissapoint.

The Blind Side -
America's new favorite, this is the semi-true story about a football player's rise to greatness thanks to the help of a rich family who help him overcome his circumstances.
4 out of 10 - I'm sorry, but this is just an overhyped hallmark movie with pushy christian over-tones, and it was certainly not oscar worthy. I really feel like the academy just really wanted to push for a crowd pleasing all american win for sandra bullock and this movie, because honestly, all she had to do was slap on a southern accent and some sass, read some lines, and POOF. There was next to zero conflict in this story, no linear plot, and it's a sugar coat of the actual events. Decent movie? maybe. Oscar worthy? not a chance.

An Education -
A teenage girl in the 50's considers her life's prospects while she's academically set to attend a prestigious college, and she also meets an older man who can show her the world, but she can only have one of these lives.
7 out of 10, a somber coming of age story for females of that time period, that is touching and yet not completely perfect. Carey Ann Mulligan does an excellent job, and definitely shines on her own since her small role as a Bennet sister in Pride and Prejudice. It has some excellent British cameos and beautiful scenery as well as acting chops, but its pace lags at times and it's storyline is often muddled because of it. It's still a much better choice of actress, and should have gotten more attention.

The Road -
Based on the novel about a man leading his son through the post apocalyptic world deviod of food, hope, and humanity.
7 out of 10, haunting realism and compelling acting carry this story and make up for it's lack of real plot and slow pace. The harsh reality of tooth and nail for the characters is palpable and very well created, as well as an extremely moving performance from viggo mortensen as a father who has decided against all odds to continue on with hope for him and his son. It is at times disturbing and true noir, but is easliy a better acted movie than most of the nominees this year and is a overall good movie.
Englebars Fishtibuns
21 March 2010 @ 10:49 am
Princess and the Frog -
Disney's trip back to their roots in the animated new take on the classic fairy tale about the princess and the frog. The tale differs by a louisiana spin, and the heroine being a working class girl who's best friend is actually the princess, and the prince being turned frog by a voodoo man.
8 out of 10, not nearly as good as other disney animated cultural tales, but still impressive, lots of heart, and artistic.
Some content borders on racism but what cultural fairy tale made by disney doesn't really? The story isn't quite as captivating and neither is the romance, it overall was just never 100% up to snuff. It is not however without touching moments and some hilarity, and is a great movie, just not a classic.

Ninja Assassin -
The latest martial arts film about...well.. the title. Raizo is an orphan who was adopted by a secret clan that raises children violently to become assasins, he realizes he has more heart than they allow and runs away after the girl he loves is killed. A government woman starts looking into the secret clan and becomes a target so the two work together to bring them down.
4 out of 10, it's not a terrible movie, but it has a ton of flaws, but it serves best as a mindless action flick so leave your brain in check. Vats and vats of cgi blood, and some HORRID accents, and I still think it's hilarious that they can't ever cast an asian person to their actual ethnicity. Pretty mindnumbing script, but not the worst movie I've ever seen.

New Moon -
Second installment of what we are now supposed to refer to as "the twilight saga" in which average girl bella's vampire boyfriend edward leaves her high and dry for what he thinks is her own good and she tries to cope without him by developing a friendship with jacob the werewolf.
5 out of 10, critically speaking, and unbiased. While it caters to its sea of fans, delights, and makes a shit ton of money regardless, it is not the greatest movie story or film wise. The book and the movie is kind of like three stories in one and it comes off disjointed at times. Pattinson really phoned this one in, despite is miniscule screen time his actual time is poorly acted and vague. As a matter of fact, no one really shined bright,(k.stew, peter fracinelli, ashley greene, jackson rathbone, michael sheen ect.) and I know for a fact the entire cast can do so much better, so I have to blame screenplay and direction for the acting yawns. Actually the only performance that was even noteable was the three shining minutes of screen time for Dakota Fanning. All in all, don't kid yourself you're going to see this movie, but you either like it or you don't, and you'll be biased either way.

Fantastic Mr. Fox -
Wes Andersen tries his hand at stop motion animation to bring to life the roald dahl story about a fox who quits being a chicken thief to support his family but gets a whole world of trouble when he tries one last heist on the three most ruthless farmers in england.
10 out of 10, an excellent transfer for both director and the story that still feels like home for both. Despite it's animated difference, it still is very much a Wes Andersen movie, and his touch is lovingly quirky and unmistakable. It's a breath of fresh air to the animation style that is dazzling while still classic, and lets not forget the voices are very well done and departed. And I shant leave out, it's fucking adorable. It's for a more intelligent child or an older person, so it wont spread like wildfire, but it's undeniably genious.

Brothers -
Remake of the Danish film in which an army wife's husband is declared dead overseas so she tries to patch her life back up by inviting his black sheep brother around, but her life 360's when her husband is actually found alive, but returns home far more damaged and secretive than when he left.
6 out of 10, with it's relatability to the current times, and the decent performances are sure to win some hearts, but it just lacks flatout in all arenas. The "brothers" really shine in this one but natalie portman kind of fell short because army wife isn't really her schtick. It is endearing and captivating at points but there's a lack of focus I can't get over and an ending that settles little. It's a decent drama, and it's not "bad" it's just not very amazing.

The Men Who Stare at Goats
Based on a mostly true story, the men who stare at goats are a government funded sect of the military that conducts experiments to make psychic "jedi" soldiers. The story follows an ex "jedi" on his last mission followed by a reporter with nothing to lose.
6 out of 10, while it too is not a very good movie, it still had it's laughs and random but loved performances by Jeff Bridges and George Clooney. It's not the clearest or greatest story, but it makes sense and doesn't end badly, which is more than I can say for even some oscar nominees. You like george clooney, hippies and off kilter comedy? you'll like this movie, if not, move on, oh well.

After Dark Horrorfest: The Graves
First film of this year's fest about two sisters that take a road trip and stop at a small town that is actually a tourist trap where the crazy locals kill people to feed the town's demon some souls.
1 out of 10, low quality, ANNOYING "actresses", predictable to a T, and a shit stupid script make this, a peice of shit. First of all, there's no chance in hell those "sisters" are related, fuck casting how bout you try a little! I'm baffled they managed to get horror legends BIll Moseley (the only shining light AT ALL) and Tony Todd, but then I saw Todd's performance, and let's just say he needs a muzzle. just don't watch it ok, stay away.

After Dark Horrorfest: Kill Theory -
A mountain climber faces death as he and his three friends dangle from a cliff, but to survive, he cuts the rope and lets them die. Now after years in psych he is unleashed out into the world and attempts to prove to his therapist that anyone would have made the same choice, by isolating a college group in a lake house and telling them at 6am only one person can be alive or everyone dies, in hopes they'll kill each other and prove the theory.
5 out of 10, it is a glaring improvment to the previous fest film, but a bit of a Saw rehash with annoying and unlikable characters. It is a good theory and plot but the dialogue and death scemes are predictable, been there, seen that. I'm just pretty tired of the stupid college kids getting drunk and fucking, and being horrible people with nothing interesting to say, in real life and in the movies. It's a bit of a cop out to make all the characters morons, so how bout we try with smart people and try to get them to act, and TRY to spend some time on the script, and I'll be more into this. It's not terrible though.
Englebars Fishtibuns
Personal Favorite for the win:
Inglourious Basterds -

10 out of 10
Tarantino balances crushing seriousness with 70's grindhouse camp in perfect harmony for his latest insta-classic. The opening scene itself has more on edge tension and unpredictability than any scene in a film I can think of, and it's only a steady conversation between two men. The characters are developed masterpeices and albeit historically innacurate, you can't deny that's how you wish it had gone down. I loved every minute and every one liner, and although the movie is severely dialogue driven, if there's one thing Tarantino does best it's dialogue.
It also toes the border of being a foreign film, which I love because it forces American audiences to stop being morons. I doubt it will win best picture because of the snobbiness towards historical accuracy and gore levels, but it won to me.

The Hurt Locker -
10 out of 10
Bigelow hands her ex his ass on a fucking platter with this cinematic gem. The camera work is amazing, every spec of dirt clear as day right when the fucking bomb goes. Incredible amounts of tension with every scene a bomb's involved, you're caught completely on edge never knowing which cut, step, or movement was the wrong one. The character depth has few but shining moments with insight to a soldier that I think was never really told correctly until now. It was extremely realistic and really brought more gravity to war scenes, where if someone gets shot it's not an afterthought, you really feel the characters deal with the fact that someone just died in front of them. I hope gritty realism will beat upstaging CGI, or I have lost lot of faith in people.

Runners up in my mind:
District 9 -

9 out of 10
Sci-fi done right, and though I'm positive the academy is too stuck up for this to go home with anything, I know that this film is the best of it's kind. It pulls off aliens that look outlandish but never hokey, they are given a realism that relates to racism and the issues of immagrancy. The humans are unlikeable and almost unredeemable while the aliens are honorable and sympathy invoking. Visual effects pulled of with a crap budget and some scares and cringes you have to respect. Only assholes don't like this movie.

Up -
9 out of 10
In a commercial effort this is doomed for best picture but it's sure to take best animated.
I cried harder in the first 10 minutes of this movie than I think I've ever cried in a film, it's so emotionally touching I can't even watch it. To capture a life between two people, the trivials, highs, and crushing lows in under 5 minutes in such a way was amazing. The continuing adventure is lighthearted disney fun about adventure, but the core values about the relationships with people, and the value of life and childhood dreams was well done, and reached everyone it aimed at.

Up in the Air -
8 out of 10
While I loved this film there was nothing incredibly outstanding about any of the performances or any real push in the story line to make it best picture. George Clooney plays George Clooney and Jason Reitman directs this like an anthology in sequel to Thank you for smoking with a large amount of parallels and similarities. I think it reached out to the victims of our current economy and succeeded in bringing that situation a lot of heart and sympathy. Anna Kendrick shows her chops breaking away from Twilight and B movie teen dramas in a role that was as serious as it was endearing. I think it also forces you to take a look at yourself and your own life and aspirations, which is admirable considering the depth of most moviegoers.

Precious -
6 out of 10
I'm sorry, I know it's the love of the land but this movie is plot inept and cinematically displeasing. The acting is very well done but I think it's not hard to do given the source material and powerful story. I do really see why Mo'Nique is going to go home with the supporting actress win, because this portrayal of an extremely hateful person, done very convincingly, could ruin an image but she's untouched to me. Gabourey Sidibe as Precious is believeable but is never fully developed or connected. The film itself is pretty choppy and the pace would have made more sense if there was more of a plot direction, but sadly the end is a cliff you unwittingly fall off, and wish there'd been a rope. As Bios go it's a horribly realistic story you don't want to face but hey it fucking happens, and I think this slaps you in the face to let you know it does.

My Hopes for going down in flames:
Avatar -

4 out of 10
I'm not sorry, I'm fucking tired of this movie. If this movie wins awards (which I'm sure if fucking will) I'm going to get incredibly pissed. For this to even get a best picture nom when none of the actors are getting acting noms makes no fucking sence, because last time I checked, actors make the movie. I am tired of this showboating geek asshole who just fucking knows everyone will cream themselves at his lastest project. This movie heavily caters to morons, to geeky morons, with stock characters, stock lines, and stock scenes, so it must be a STOCK film. This storyline folks, IS NOT ORIGINAL, the script is quoteable before you even hear it, it's just mediocre at best. I also think he really missed the boat about "saving the earth" and paying respect to the planet, because it sailed with Al Gore as captain, fucker. I could go on forever, this movie is not even half as good as 75% of my dvd collection. Please god this is not a good movie, do not give it more encouragement.
Englebars Fishtibuns
The Crazies -
Based on the 1970's George A Romero film of the same title, in which a town is accidentally infected by a government made virus that turns people into murdering psychos, and is put under military quarantine. Timothy Olyphant plays the town's Sheriff, who catches on quick and tries to escape the town with his pregnant wife and a few survivors while also trying to avoid the infected.
9 out of 10 The film never really delivers on the title, making it more a gorey thriller and less a horror movie, because the crazies themselves are actually more like silent killing stalkers, than full on crazy. If you do this story line though, it needs to be done right and it was this time thanks to the directorial style. almost every character and prop has a purpose so it makes for no pointless scenes and fewer loose ends, it also doesn't waste a bunch of time on cliches because the characters are more intelligent than usual, so you don't have to see the main character try to convince everyone of whats happening for the first half hour, because it's already happening. The characters were also a lot more realistic, and you really felt for them and rooted for them. I think it's really held together by timothy olyphant though, I doubt it would have been as likeable if he wasn't in it. I really loved it, and it was way better than the original, so totally see it.

Bitch Slap -
A 70's throwback sort of grindhouse style story about three chicks in the desert looking for some kind of conspiracy diamonds? I can't really tell you much about the plot other than that it's not really about a plot, it's more about tits and action.
3 out of 10, and I'm being generous because of the lesbian action.
I understand that it was meant to by incredibly campy/cheesy, but there's a fine line between a decent camp and a ridiculous piece of shit, and this is well beyond that line. Two of the three chicks are tolerable but the girl who plays "Camero" couldn't act to save the planet, she is the most annoying thing in a movie since Sheri Moon Zombie. I know they meant for it to be "so bad it's good" but it ended up being so bad it's actually pretty fucking bad. They were clearly influenced by Tarantino and "faster pussycat kill kill" but completely missed the mark. Terrible green screens, and it felt like the script was written by a teenage guy who thinks smashing every dirty word or sex metephor together for insults was the best idea ever. It's pretty intolerable and pointless to try and follow, if anything it can be useful for masturbation material for 16 year olds (guys and girls), however despite tits having a 90% screen time ratio, you never see anything without some cloth over it.

2012 -
The latest earth vs. man flick about the mayan prediction that the world ends in 2012, becoming a reality, showing the struggle through various people trying to get to a secret government base full of arks for the survival of humanity.
3 out of 10, you want to see this movie? go see "the day after tomorrow" it's the same fucking thing, but better.
You know how bad this script was? the movie's last line is a little girl saying she didn't need to wear "good nites" because she stopped wetting the bed finally, I AM NOT EVEN JOKING.
I kind of want to punch the guy who wrote this, it's that fucking bad. Tons of errors and plot holes, very predictable twists, bad casting choices and a total misuse of excellent actors like Woody Harrelson, John Cusak, Thandie Neweton, and Chiwetel Ejiefor. What the fuck were they smoking when they decided John Cusak and Amanda Peet were a believeable couple? It's also incredibly heartless and moronic, placing jokes in the middle of scenes where they are watching thousands of people die and cities crumble. It was WAY too long, two and half hours too long really. It spent way too long introducting too many characters you didn't need to see or care about. I'm really tired of movies like this, boasting effects with their invonceivable budget, and producing vomit for the masses knowing they'll eat it up no questions asked. This movie is for morons, and probably loved by morons. I can already feel the exhaustion I'm going to get trying to give my opinion to stupid people asking me how it is, and then watching them rent it anyway. But please god if you care for your brain cells just don't fucking do it.

Where the Wild Things Are -
Based on the childrens book by Maurice Sendak, the story is about a young boy named Max who finds his way onto an island where strange creatures live, to end up becoming their king and trying to bring them closer together.
9 out of 10, an excellent childhood movie for adults, that is freeing and heartfelt.
The effects are amazing, and the director really plays with texture and color, creating a wonderfully imagined land and it's creatures. The characters are all very endearing and innocent, but dark and frightening at times. I can't say all children will flock to it, because it serves best as a nostalgic journey for adults, that really hits your inner child and sense of adventure, but it's totally something I would show to my kid. The ending is a little unsatisfying but it's only slight, and not enough to ruin the whole experience.
It's a great movie, don't even rent, just buy.

Ponyo -
The latest film from animated master Hayao Miyazaki, which is a take on the orginal Hans Christian Andersen story of the little mermaid. Ponyo is one of the many daughters of a wizard and the queen of the sea, who meets a boy on land and wants to stay with him.
9 out of 10, while not his greatest film, it is still as magical and well done as the rest.
It is refreshing to see such an adorable and innocent love story between children instead of adults. I think all of his films teach more patience to the child audiences it reaches in America, because it focuses more on culture, the heart and the magic, rather than jokes and effects, fast face, and celebrity voicing. If you love Miyazaki you are guaranteed to love Ponyo, and if anyone doesn't like this movie, they're pretty much an asshole.
Englebars Fishtibuns
Sorority Row -
Remake of the early 90's "House on Sorority Row", about a group of sorority girls who accidentally get their sister killed in a prank and choose to hide it. 8 months later they are killed off one by one by a hooded figure who knows what they did.
4 out of 10, with it's charming cast of my favorite young b-movie royalty (Rumer Willis, Briana Evigan and Margo Harshman), it's hard to hate their deserved screen time but the movie itself is nothing impressive, and nothing new. It's not poorly acted, but at the same time it's not all that hard to play a college booze hound. The death scenes were boring and contrived, and the script was exactly as mediocre as you'd expect. An easily predicted killer unmasking, and a sociopathic bitch character who makes most scenes silly. All in all it wasn't horrible but it just really isn't very good, you've pretty much already seen this movie 10 times over since the 80's.

Cirque Du Freak; The Vampire's Assistant -
Based on the popular book series, the story is about two high school guy friends on opposite sides of the tracks. When one day they go to a Freak Show and a series of events leads them to go on opposing sides of a war between two kinds of vampires, one good one bad.
2 out of 10, and I'm being generous sheerly based on it's awesome and WILDLY underused cameos.
About fifteen minutes into this film I found myself turning to Nicholle and saying "This is a horrible movie." Painfully awful script, horrible pace, bad career move for John C. Reily, uninteresting and incredibly boring/stock characters, boring as shit fight scenes, and too many leads to a sequel I hope never happens and couldn't care less about. I find it interesting the fact that in the pre-production of this film, they had originally just titled it "Cirque Du Freak" but the sudden sickening boom in vampire love had to bump it's way into the title like a cheap whore. Willam Defoe, Salma Hayek, Jane Krakowski, Chow Yun Fat, and Patrick Fugit are among the cameos as the circus freaks, and are given complete pig slop for dialogue and screen time and they STILL outshine the main, ever-so-stupid, character. It was an insult for any of them to even be cast in this movie. There's so much wrong with this movie I could write a book, I just hope it's dead in the water as far as a revival or sequel because if this drivel gets continued instead of the vastly better and underapprecated Golden Compass series, I've lost all faith in the film industry.
Just don't see it, please god save yourself.

The Informant! -
Based on a real life story about an average man who blows the whistle on a corn company that fixes prices among other things.
4 out of 10 from what I saw of it, although it's not completely fair seeing as how I didn't finish. From what I saw it was an excellent character piece for Matt Damon, who is a chubby but quirky regular guy, but not the most captivating story line you've ever seen. Prehaps if he was blowing the whistle on something other than corn it might have been more interesting but it was...corn. You need a good attention span for this one, I just got a little too bored.
Englebars Fishtibuns
dvds for tuesday so far:

Cabin Fever 2; Spring Fever -
Helmed by impressive newbie Ti West, it picks up exactly where it left off. Spring Fever is the sequel to the least miserable Eli Roth film; Cabin Fever, wherein an unknown unstoppable flesh eating virus attacks and picks off a group of 20 somethings at a cabin in the woods. This one focuses on the virus being spread through bottled water to the local high school on the eve of the prom, and hones in mostly on an attractive geek who's always been hopelessly in love with the most popular girl in school, who finally makes some headway just as the flesh starts metling off the whole school.
3 out of 10, despite the previous jem from director Ti West (House of the Devil), this turned out into a truly disgusting pus-fest of a turd. It lacked any clear plot direction, it felt disjointed and unending, without any true character developement despite the effort to focus on it. The dialogue felt like I was watching Superbad without the humor, and half the scenes begged the question "what was the point of that?". I also believe that there is most definitely a limit on the gross out factor, and I'm sorry but I think seeing half the pudgy kid's dick ejaculate pus, a janitor piss blood into a punch bowl, and a customer lick the vag cream off an infected stripper, is QUITE over the line, well into the WHO-THE-FUCK-NEEDED-TO-SEE-THAT area. All the characters were unlikeable, and the animated cut scenes probably would have been a little bit more effective if they'd just splurge and film it for real. The only thing that deserves a commendation is Ti Wests ability to make any movie time ambiguous. Much like in House of the Devil the surroundings and style of buildings and clothing scream 70's to possible 80's but we are led to believe it is in current times, and yet no one pulls out an ipone or opens a laptop. Well done there, but fuck off elsewhere.

Coco Before Chanel-
The always amazing Audrey Toutou, stars in this bio-pic about the legendary french fashion designer who was also an incredible entrepenour in the industry and an extremely forward thinker. The story focuses mainly on her life growing up as an orphan with her sister and how she came to be a kept woman, a woman in love, and the legend she is today.
8 out of 10, While still an excellent story, this film would have been nothing without its star. Audrey does an exquisite job at portraying the elegant and complex woman Coco Chanel was and while the directing style is beautiful in colors, clothing and scenery, it would have been incredibly boring if not helf together by her. The pace is at times incredibly slow, and it isn't very viewer friendly unless you're well versed in french culture, but all around it was a great and well acted story. Definitely worth the watch if you're into fashion, france, and period peices and let's face it, most chicks totally are.

Good Hair -
The documentary by comedian Chris Rock that takes a look at the stigmas and habits around black people and their hair. He travels to local salons, a hair convention, India, and L.A. , interviewing and learning.
5 out of 10, It's pretty much 50/50 because it wasn't bad but on the whole it wasn't that great. Chris Rock's humor generally leaves me in stitches but, there really wasn't a whole lot of material or things to laugh at, nor was it incredibly serious, it reached a middle ground that didn't ever feel right. It had bumpy pace and some extremely dull interview-ees that even showed moments where after they answered a question there was an awkward 10 second pause until it mercifully cut scene. My preemptive thought about the film was doubt as to whether or not someone could really make an entertaining, worthwhile full on movie about the subject matter, and while my doubts were confirmed, it was still a decent film. The most informative segment includes a trip to india, the biggest exporter of human hair for weaves, showing the houses that ship them and the women who give up the locks for their faith.
With no real end result or eye opening truths it kind of fails as a documentary, and is more of a social/ethnicity commentary, not without it's close to PC racism, and inside jokes and problems. If you're a fan of Chris Rock expecting to see some comedy this isn't for you. If you're a fan of eye opening documentaries, this isn't for you. I can really only reccomend it to someone who loves hair, weaves, or to black people with hair issues.
Englebars Fishtibuns
15 January 2010 @ 11:37 am
The reason I don't talk about her is because we're perfect, and I don't think anyone would believe it, but throw anything at me, it's fucking true.

I've become exceedingly elitist, which has detrimented my social skills.
Englebars Fishtibuns
06 August 2009 @ 12:17 pm
I am still unemployed, I don't mind it but I fear I'm getting too used to it and I don't think I can perform at another job where I have to pretend I give a shit about sales or the idiots around me. For now I'm just a housewife that cooks, cleans, and runs errands.
I am in constant avoidance of conversations with my mom or family because I'm probably not going to school in the fall and I don't want to talk about it. I might be more inclined if those in position stopped being ambiguous about whether or not I can use my college fund or whether or not I'll have a roof over my head start with.
My family is 5 months away from losing our house because despite all the bitching about how I should be doing more, my mom and her boyfriend have sat around  raising chickens and taking expensive vacations while watching the financial walls crumble for two years without getting any kind of job to stop it, living off unemployment gouged by child support. However I'm told "someone will save the day" followed by "maybe, probably not". Most of our boxes remain packed because we never know how soon we'll be moving or kicked out, we can only sit around and wait for the news.
I've only gone to one concert in almost a year because we're too poor to spend 80 bucks for the two of us to go anywhere, but we still go to the movies a lot thanks to haphazard free movie tickets. I hang out with Britney about once a week, and no one else, it's not even a bestest friend thing, it's just a laid back hang out when you want to thing that works out fine. I'm getting tired and wierded out by the random people who keep popping up, saying we should reconnect and then never following through, 5 of which literally happened this week some from people I haven't talked to in 3 years. It's not something I'm concerned about at all anymore, I just think it's strange and I don't know why they bothered. and I'm not a bitter introvert or anything I just respond to actual invites instead of "hey we should hang out sometime".
other things include
I don't like my haircut
I miss our apartment because of the lack of mice and spiders, and the control of my own space.
I don't like sarah benton who's staying at our house for reasons I can't explain
and I feel bad for the shitty second hand parenting my poor brother is getting and I'm worried he's getting depressed.
Englebars Fishtibuns
05 July 2009 @ 03:23 pm
I'm sorry but it's quite more than obsessive that whenever she tells you that she works on a day, not even specifying what time, you seem to show up and "shop" for 4 hours, or go hang out at starbucks for another 4 hours, finding excuses to pop into the store like "oh I think I left my sunglasses", always hoping she's going to finally be there, and when she is there you sit around and find excuses to wait for hours for her 15 or a lunch. Then when you actually talk to her you tell her about all the stuff you looked up online for her that you thought she might like, and how you went out and bought it just so she could borrow it too.
I've had needy friends but you are fucking insane, take one giant step back you socially retarded creepo.
I completely regret getting jamba juice that morning, if only I would have just said "nah, let's just go home" we wouldn't have gone into safeway and ran into your scary ass, because aparently briefly running into someone you haven't talked to in two years, is an invitation to stalk them incredulously.
Englebars Fishtibuns
27 June 2009 @ 02:53 pm
I have no god damn mother fucking idea what I want to do about ANYTHING

so stop asking
Englebars Fishtibuns
16 June 2009 @ 11:25 pm
I am officially a housewife
hooray for unemployment
I even get a nice $700 settlement from the apartments
Englebars Fishtibuns
01 June 2009 @ 07:01 am
Placebo's latest album was a let down. Lacking originatily in song titles as well as lyrics, trying to sprinkle in two risque titles that only feel contrived like "kitty litter" and "Ashtray heart". The first single "battle for the sun" is the first indication that things have gone down hill, by repeating the first word of every verse 5 times each (no exagguration), and average filler lyrics that never convey a point. Most every guitar line and chorus bleeds into one another so it's near impossible to remember which belongs to which song even after a few listens. It just feels like they've lost an incredible amount of edge and all of the creativity they started with, all lackluster and zero admirable passion.
We'll always have the first 4 classic albums at least.
Englebars Fishtibuns
31 May 2009 @ 03:08 am
you make me feel lower than you, but you have moments of shining sincerity
I just wish I knew where I fit in with you
Englebars Fishtibuns
22 May 2009 @ 05:15 am
Skins, British television.
Check it out, brilliant really.
Also, I spent 120 bucks today on groceries, gas, the cinema, birthday gifts and true blood. I might have gotten a lot but I feel disgusting spending so much in a 4 hour period.
Englebars Fishtibuns
19 May 2009 @ 09:09 am
Should we just be handing over the car keys when kids turn 16? Why or why not?

Are you fucking kidding me? Have you looked at the recent generations of 16 year old americans? They're fucking morons, I swear to god my class was the last semi decent wave of students, but these new ones, not a fucking prayer.
Not to mention, according to conversations I've been apart of and overheard with your average teen girl, they have each wrecked at least two cars and seem to think that's normal.
So once again, are you fucking kidding me?
Englebars Fishtibuns
26 April 2009 @ 06:13 am
wtf @ twitter
no one gives that much of a shit about their friends that they need to know what they're doing or thinking every fucking second, unless they're stalking them.
How self indulged is that bullshit that people think it's interesting to say "I'm in the shower" or "I'm on my way to school",
what's fucking next "I inhaled oxygen".
This is some serious waste of time and technology.
Englebars Fishtibuns
31 March 2009 @ 05:54 am
I'd say you don't know how important that was to me, but for once I actually believe you do.
I feel so much better it's like drugs kicked in and all the bullshit I ever felt is gone.
Thank you for the apology and thank you for never replacing me, and thank you for coming back.
Englebars Fishtibuns
29 March 2009 @ 06:41 am
I was already extremely disenchanted when I saw the overweight hostess on stage singing "21st Century Cure" in a minidress and short boots that introduced caffles (cankles on the calf) to me, not to mention the hairy goths in top hats in the lobby.
Then a buzzcut lesbian in a fishnet top with an ugly bra and a netted skirt grabbed to mike for "karaoke" but started to sing evanescence then try to do stand-up comedy about sleeping with guys with small dicks, then proceeded to give her dysfunctional life story about how she was there with a guy she met online and lives in oregon with her lesbian lover.
THEN three drunken fat thirtysomethings bounded onstage to sing "Zydrate Anatomy" and did not know any of the words or have any consideration for the audiences ear drums.
THEN when the movie actually started, some fatass with a ponytail in the front row couldn't give up his fucking quips every two god damn fucking seconds, and the mouthbreather behind me was chewing popcorn methodically with his mouth wide fucking open, amplifying every chew.

I had no idea the people who liked the things I like are such FUCKING FREAKS.
I am never going to a midnight show again.
Englebars Fishtibuns
18 March 2009 @ 04:38 am
If I just said
"I have no qualms with anything, just let me have my cats, put a couple framed artworks up, and you work it out with me about privacy, we will gladly pay the cable bill for you as contribution because I don't feel comfortable not paying you anything, and I will go along with any and all changes you want to mold around the basement for whatever ideas you have or want to spend money on, it is completely up to you. We are quiet, we don't have any friends, we're neat, and we don't want to paint or change anything, we are fine with anything provided, we are in complete compliance with anything at all you might request.
That is all, final, nothing more, end of subject, go on your merry way, goodbye, we're done here, everyone's happy, the world is safe again."

you would still bring up crazy outlandish dilusions about each of those subjects and you'd talk about them till you're blue in the face.
Our conversations go like this:

you: well you can't crap out those couches down there, we need those
me: well we lived down there a long time and we never made a single mess
you: oh I guess you're right

you: well you can't just invite people over and have loud music at all hours
me: you know we don't have any friends
you: oh I guess you're right

you: well the cats have to go outside and you can't be neurotic about it
me: I was the one who let them out in the first place, they love it
you: oh I guess you're right

See a fucking pattern? if I get another phone call like this I'm going to explode.
Englebars Fishtibuns
11 March 2009 @ 09:23 am
We're not even that close at all anymore, since you keep me at arm's length and out of your social life, but as soon as you leave for college, I will have absolutely no friends left, no shopping buddies, no one I could even call for a quick chat.
You told me about the move tonight and it made me feel sick.

I'm sorry I just can't get over it, I don't know how I went from having 30 decent friendships with great people, having it get weeded down to 10 and then scraped to 4 then none.
I am trying so hard to keep things connected but it's failed, and I've said goodbye to so many people I wasn't ready to be done with.
It hurts me so much inside, it's boiling and festering because I want to scream at all of you and ask you why I'm not good enough to hold onto, why I'm not missed, and why it was so easy to copout of our friendships and make less and less time for each other so it turned into months, years and then nothing at all.
I stay awake an extra hour every night because this bothers me, I can't stop it from entering my head or lingering there.
I think the thing I'm most sorry about is caring so much about you all, I had no idea it was so unappreciated.